Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Wake up Honey-Girl


When my daughter finished her first year of kindergarten, I made a batch of almond bread biscotti as parting gifts for her teachers. Since our Australian school year finishes just before Christmas, I added green and red sugared cherries to the mix and tied them in cellophane bags with raffia. It was a labor of love, following a 'new to me' recipe, as I worked apron clad late into the evening before her last day of school. Close to midnight I admired my baking. Something was missing.

I had the perfect Christmas gift tags to go with our presents, but I knew the finishing touch should be my daughter's name in her own handwriting. I tiptoed into her room and after a few gentle taps managed to get her sleepy fingers to grip a pen.

"Wake up Honey-Girl... you need to write your name here. Sophie? Can you do that for Mummy?"

I guided her hand to the card and she looked at me with the stare of a sleepwalker - eyes open, still dreaming. After a few groggy attempts I gave up, switched the lights off and planned for another try in the morning. This time, her name embellished the cards with childlike flourish, and we delivered our parcels with Christmas wishes and heartfelt thanks.

As the years flew by, scribbling her name at the bottom of a card developed into a short paragraph, then two and in no time Sophie was writing entire thank-you letters to her teachers by herself. By high school, Christmas goodies emerged from the oven with her unique touch, as I hung around the kitchen with a coffee and watchful eye.

This week I watched Sophie write farewell letters to her teachers for the last time. In a few days she will begin her final year 12 exams and many of her beloved teachers and mentors will fade from her world. Words of appreciation and pretty cupcakes barely begin to express the bittersweet emotions and gratitude she is feeling. Like the closing credits in a movie, I watch again as the little girl who needed me to guide her hand over the page, pens her own words and puts finishing touches on gifts.

We do. We show. We guide... and then we watch, as our children step into the role of young adults. One by one our tasks diminish and our prayers increase as they make their own decisions and plans. We can even tuck ourselves into bed and drift off to sleep against the clatter of our little ones cleaning the kitchen after a baking session. They know to hang up the apron and switch the lights off when they're done... and if they need anything else, they can always wake us up.

Train up a child in the way is should go,
when she is old she will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

26 comments:

amanderings said...

What a wonderful picture of the journey of growing up and instilling traits such as thankfulness into our children. Thanks for sharing. XXOO

Dorothy Adamek said...

Hi Amanda,
It certainly makes the 'letting go' a little easier, to see lessons learned and applied.
Blessings to you dear friend,
Dotti :)

Wendy said...

Oh, do I know the mix of emotions you are feeling (Hi, yes I'm back) and I know there's such joy and sadness all in a jumble. And how did it happen so fast, you ask. I'm praying for you and her. Not because it's such a serious thing, but though "normal" it's not normal for you! My daughter and I had a laugh as the timer went off on her baking tonight, and I was headed towards the kitchen, (but knowing she ALWAYS wants to take her own creations out of the oven) I (with twinkle in my eye) asked if she wanted me to get the pans out of the oven, and she (distracted) took a second to have that soak in, then raced out to the kitchen, saying, "No! You don't even know what to do!" (only half-joking) to which I indignantly laughed and teased back, "Ha! I taught you everything you know!" and amidst laughter and a fight of oven mitts I let her finish her creation. It is fun to tuck oneself into bed, hearing the clank and clatter of her cleaning up, a grown woman now. It seems like only yesterday. Good memories.
Love (and also thanks again for guest posting, Dotti!)
Wendy

Jan said...

Dot, Lovely to read your story and memories over the years about your precious daughter who has learned your beautiful values so well.
I have two grandchildren who write thankyou notes, and others that disappointingly don't acknowledge gifts.
With love and blessings to you both,
Jan.

Crystal Mary said...

Oh Dorothy, you make my heart swell, gone are the day when I did things like this with my children...and yet? Tonight I have my youngest son Lee-Joel here asleep on my lounge. I will ask you to please pray that he and his partner get back together. He is grieving over his mistakes.
I think it beautiful that your Sophie writes letters of thank you to her teachers. I am sure they appreciate her sincere kindness. God bless you both. xxxxxx

covnitkepr1 said...

Wow...now that was wonderful. I think your daughter has had a great teacher and example in yourself. Thanks for sharing. I feel like baking something now...really

Dorothy Adamek said...

Hi Wendy,
Mother/Daughter moments are priceless aren't they?
I'm blessed to have my precious girl and I can see you have a precious one there too!
Thanks for inviting me to blog with you!
Blessings
Dorothy :)

Dorothy Adamek said...

Hi Jan,
Thank-you notes seem to flow a little easier from girls than boys, as I have observed. Perhaps it's because girls enjoy expressing their emotions. Who knows? Sophie is a writer too, so words come easily to her.
Maybe your other grandbabies will discover different ways to express thanks.
Blessings
Dorothy :)

Dorothy Adamek said...

Hi Stan,
I hope you had a wonderful baking session. Thanks for visiting Ink Dots.
Blessings
Dorothy :)

Dorothy Adamek said...

Dear Crystal Mary,
My heart breaks for you and your son right now. Please know you are both in my prayers. I'm beginning to understand a mother's heart is almost always in a state of brokeness, one way or another... and constant prayer.
Blessings and love
Dotti :)

Robyn Campbell said...

Mmmm, almond bread. I'm a bread lover so you got my attention RIGHT AWAY. :)

I use to guide the hand of my little ones, too. (We have six boys and a girl.)

And as long as we guide them, they WILL make the right decisions. Oh, they'll make mistakes. But that's all a part of life. (^_^)

Dorothy Adamek said...

Welcome Robyn,
I guess I should have said Almond Bread Biscotti. It's a loaf to start with, then sliced thinly and re-baked to make the most moorish biscotti ever!
Thanks for visiting
Blessings
Dotti :)

Mary Hawkins said...

Lovely story, Dorothy! Our children - and now grandchildren too - are just such precious gifts from the Giver of all good and perfect gifts!

Ellen Marie "Mama" Pike said...

Dorothy,
This brought tears to my eyes.I have watched my four children disappear into adults and the process is beautiful, tender and sometimes too emotional for words. Thank you finding the words for me!

Dorothy Adamek said...

Thanks for visiting Mary :) So true - about our children being GIFTS from the the GIVER of all good and perfect things. Knowing His love and concern for my children is greater than mine, comforts me when I feel too small for the job.
Blessings
Dorothy :)

Dorothy Adamek said...

Hi Ellen Marie,
Bless you for understanding the ache of my mother's heart.
Dorothy :)

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Dorothy -

How beautiful to see your daughter following in your footsteps! You have taught her well.

Blessings,
Susan :)

Tina Leigh said...

OH my!!!! I love this post.....balling, thinking about my grand-daughter and all of this!!

Dorothy Adamek said...

Hi Susan,
Every day, I am discovering more about the never ending but always changing and deeply moving role of mother. And I'm blessed each one of those day :)
Thanks for visiting
Dorothy :)

Dorothy Adamek said...

Welcome Tina :)
I'm so glad to have tugged the heart of another 'crier'.
Blessings
Dorothy

Karen Lange said...

You must have such wonderful memories! I will pray for all of you as you embark on this new chapter of your journey.
Blessings,
Karen

Nonna Beach said...

Beautifully expressed Dorothy and kudos to you as a parent for teaching your child the importance of gratitude and the value of writing thank you notes.

We gave quite a few wedding and graduation gifts this year and I was disappointed that some of these young adults didn't take the time to write or even send a printed thank you to us. It is always appropriate to send a thank you, even if you have said it in person to the giver.

When I get a thank you, it reminds me of the special occasion we attended and the happy memories it provided !

Catherine West said...

Lovely! What a bittersweet time. I remember it well with my Sarah. And cried buckets when she went off to university! Motherhood is such a blessing isn't it?

Maria I. Morgan said...

Wonderfully expressed, Dotti! Love this tribute to your dear daughter, Sophie! I'm only a few months ahead of you and can relate so well!

There's so much truth to your words - "We do. We show. We guide... and then we watch, as our children step into the role of young adults. One by one our tasks diminish and our prayers increase as they make their own decisions and plans." Beautifully written, my sweet friend! Praying for you and your family during this season of transition! Much love & God bless!

Crystal Mary said...

Hey Dorothy, I believe you would have seen Mary Hawkins by now. She was looking forward to calling in top see you on her way back to Tassie. Keep well. Crystal xx

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Dorothy -

I've missed your posts. Hope everything is okay.

Susan